Page 20 - BEQ Magazine Iss 19

in some ways. Twenty-nine states still had
constitutional provisions prohibiting the union of
gay couples. It would be another five years before
Obergefell v. Hodges would appear before the
Supreme Court, affirming that all states must issue
marriage licenses to same-sex couples and validate
same-sex marriages.
But trans rights have remained a matter of
concern. Visibility of openly transgender people
in the media has helped bring awareness and
understanding of the community. But, harmful
legislation — bathroom bills, anti-trans sports bills
— has been forced through state governments under
the banner of “protecting children.” The result of
those bills simply puts targets on the backs of trans
people.
And health care is still not guaranteed.

RB: Obviously, you were an adult when you transitioned
and it’s a different yet not different experience at the
same time because it’s still this major transition. I’m
sure that your mom felt the same fears that I feel as the
parent of a 12-year-old.
What kind of resources would you suggest a parent
of a trans child, or an adult who has recently come out,
look at to learn more and educate themselves in a way
that doesn’t put the responsibility on their child?

KK: We know that the suicide rate in the trans
community is 41% — that’s high . For you, because you
love your child so much, isn’t it better to accept her
the way she is than for her to commit suicide? You
brought this child into your life, into this world, and
you love her unconditionally, so you try to work with
COURTESY PHOTO
Karen speaks then of Tony, her identity before her as best as possible so she doesn’t do anything to
transition. The person who would stop for broken hurt herself . Even for an older trans person I always
Ryann and
Ashley posted down vehicles and didn’t have to worry about say, all we want to do is be happy, just like every
this photo to random men yelling at him at clubs in dark parking straight person does, but because of the way society
social media lots. treats the trans community -- we lose our spouse, we
in December
2020 as part She talks about the shifts in gender dynamics at lose our children, our family, our home, our job . And
of Ashley’s family functions. Tony used to hang out with the then we end up committing suicide and it’s not right .
coming out male cousins and uncles. Karen tends to hang out
announcement .
more with the girls. Forty-one percent. I blink. I feel my pulse quicken
Most of the family has accepted Karen, but some and my breath hitch.
have not. Her mom has come to enjoy events Karen I looked up the statistics after our interview.
speaks at, parties, political shindigs. According to The Trevor Project, 40% of transgender
In the 11 years since Karen came out, the adults reported attempting suicide at one time. Of
landscape for LGBTQ individuals has changed that number, 92% of those individuals reported that

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